using no condom is gross. my vagina has a dress code.
just had to take a 4 hour nap to write a one page paper. its obviously the week after winter break.
explain the missing patches of hair on my cat. now.
I don't know what part of vegas I'm in but its definately the wrong part
A few things for you to consider: 1. Drunk enough that I'm looking up the dictionary definition of Wish. 2. Dictionary.com has new features. 3. Windows is offering me 500 business cards for 5 bucks. 4. I've always wanted a card that says I'm a ninja
Wednesdays are like the thursdays of tuesdays... Drink time
I sent him a naked picture of me with the caption "I lost at beer pong, this was a dare. Hope your nights going as good as mine" I've never talked to him in my life, this is a strange way to start.
I just found a hunk of ham in my back jeans pocket from god knows when. We gotta stop going so ham.
Body shots with my MILFs MILF!!
All I did was send my mom an ecard
Well, after emptying the contents of my stomach into a fucking rose bush, the only things moving through my digestive system are pills, coffee, and my own lip gloss. If that gives you any idea what kind of a day I'm having.
Now that it's fall I have to prepare for the imminent arrival of ripped up sweatpants shoved into folded over sequined uggs
this new dose of ADD meds is totally being waisted with the unemployed new graduate thing if only I could add my hyper focused side effects to a coverletter
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
Well I just woke up to no pants, Gatorade on the headboard along with an uneaten steak, and the instinct I was a giant asshole.
I have peed in a lot of sinks
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