Your tits are I can't wait for
i wokr up in ohio with no clothes. i think someone gave me ecstacy. can you come find me please it's cold.
Just ate lunch with a paperclip again. Seriously, need to invest in plastic forks.
She said, "I don't really go out much, but my husband recently cheated on me" and I don't remember anything after that.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
He's going to be my graduation present to myself.
Its raining shots and i keep catching them in my mouth like you with dicks shits crazy
She just causally held my limp dick in her hand the entire movie. Her parents were cuddling on the couch too..that brave!
I was like a damn cattle dog, I separated all the sheep, I can wing man for anyone on this campus.
GUESS WHO GOT ABSOLUTELY WASTED LAST NIGHT AND SPENT AN HOUR RAMBLING ABOUT KRAFT DINNER, HOCKEY, AND THE LAST TEMPTATION OF CHRIST
Had to immediately delete the Bevmo email because I can't even look at an email about alcohol right now.
They put me in room 420 every time and I take bubble baths and smoke in the room and they bring food TO MY BED
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'm literally trapped as the little spoon on a mattress on the floor of an unfinished basement with a professional athlete snoring in my hair
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
Randomize
