i'm three days dirty after drinking 14 hours last night and some other questionable behavior (hula hooping at a large concert, for example) i will just always bring the class. and the sluttiness.
"I want to just tie you up so you\'ll still be here like this when I get home." Actual words.
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
i stole $50 bucks from my girlfriends purse to pay for my other girls abortion pill...shes gonna be pissed
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
My vagina would be awesome. I would be the most popular girl in the village.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
"The cab driver felt bad for us so he stopped to buy us chocolates. That counts as a valentine!"
She showed me her tits outside Taco Bell....After she flashed the dude working there in an effort to get in.
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
It's my birthday. I should be drinking mimosas in a top hat, not working.
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