Dude sorry i couldnt seem to spell any words right in the texts i sent you last night
I felt like a fucking code breaker.
Spotted at kelly concert- 10 year old in a homemade "I do not hook up" t shirt. Well I should certainly hope not, sweetheart.
Some fat girl belted her graduation gown. That is not a good look for anyone.
Periouds do not concern me. Biploogival needs are buological needs.
You called me and said "Aidan's unconscious" to which he said "I'm conscious, I'm conscious pilot"
He was filled with the holy spirit. And vodka.
Bro, did you watch that scooby doo porn I sent to you?
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I woke up in Brittany's thong, Tony's shirt, and an oven mitt
In all honesty the person most likely to secretly slip me drugs would be ... Me
I have shit my pants twice this week. #adulthood
He literally just made me hold his dick while he peed cause he wanted to know if I could aim as good as him
So, my eyeglasses somehow ended up in my nightstand drawer and they're covered in lube.
Good morning! Or after noon. Sorry for falling asleep in you
Your participation in the democratic process makes me horny AF
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
Randomize
