As it would turn out, "jesusssssss" is not the password to enter Faith Chapel's wifi network.
You bring the bicep workout. I'll bring the unscented gentle products. We'll both bring our penises.
Just mixed vicodin and mucinex. This cold just got fun.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
You broke into someone's house and stole a pan of lasagna.
If i ever start ordering tequila again please tackle me to the ground and steal my wallet
I think the multiple Sunday morning sirens outside my window are a plot by the cops to get back at me for the shit we pulled last night. Or I should move to a better area.
will you please stage a drunk girl intervention and tell him that his chain is severely harming his chances of getting laid tonight?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
See, the Lortab wasn't working enough, so I thought "hey, vodka can speed that up! That's how science works!" Which probably should've been my indication that the Lortab was in fact working
What's it called where you go to the stripclub with two guys that have both gone down on you...
Tuesday
Please send pictures of any nice new years ladies you run across in town, as I've forgotten what women look like.
It was great. We stayed up all night talking about objects he'd put in his theoretical vagina.
Shit day. Some kids decided to open my car at 3 AM while I was at work and the alarm went off. I went after them with a sword but they were minors so I didn't kill them.
RICK FUCKING MORANIS!!!!!
Randomize