I had a bacon mcgriddle for the first time today. It was like eating a baby angel.
He just posted pic of sad weiner and half a butt cheek. That is it. I HATE online dating.
Wake and baked to watch the boston marathon. God I love massachusetts
He had me believing he was actually British until he came and used his real voice.
His roommate just snorted a line of Smirnoff off the desk. I could really fit in here.
ambylanc
what?
there was an amgbulance. iw ish i was in it.
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
OK! No more randoms over for the next month this is the third fucking time I caught a naked dude drinking my OJ in the middle of the night.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
I just want to get drunk and wake up on Wednesday
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
Which one of you fucks put a bounty out on my brother's virginity?
and that's when you shouted "ahh motherland" as you streaked down hall 4B
Randomize
