so, on facebook you can become a fan of butt sex, and also premarital sex, but not premarital butt sex, which is what I was aiming for.
**i WaNt TO sLaP mY niECe wHO ThINks iT iS cUte tO WriTE LiKE tHiS**
I walked outside out to find her peeing in her toga with a cigar in one hand and her thong in the other
Do you understand how much easier life would be if fannypacks were normal
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
nothing like walking down the street with a garbage bag of puke trying to find a dumpster
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
and let me tell you something, handcuffs are surprisingly uncomfortable when they arent being used in a sexual manner
I stole something. Which direction out are you guys gonna go
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
I'm dangerously close to tossing this whole "morals" bullshit and swan-diving into the fuckboy lifestyle.
I thought the dude was just really enjoying his piss but apparently he was jerkin off into the urinal.
Apparently swingers are magnetically drawn to me?
I was so high I forgot how to swallow food, and I just kept thinking "thank god its just mashed potatoes, they'll go down eventually"
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