just won 30 on black! Ok adicteddd! Never coming back gqmbeqing is easy.
now my debit card is betting 1k whoops. im gongk eh be rich!!!
whoops didnt work. think the gambeli mashine is busters!! now im betting 2k?! bad idea?
It's a beautiful day for a hangover
my little sister told my dad she found willy wonka's golden ticket in the backseat of my car. now my dad knows my boyfriend uses magnums.
4 am. She strained the mac and cheese onto her legs. She has no skin.
In case you're keeping score at home, this is Brad's SECOND Doritos-related trip to the ER.
If you can count on one hand the number of times you have actually, truly nearly died this month, then you are not really living yet.
I totally left my shirt at your house. Also I think I high fived your cactus last night
It was a blind-side dick pic.
Idk if I should be worried or amused that my autocorrect changes the word STD to DTF.
When the theology professor asked me what touched me most about this trip to Rome, I guess "the guy from last night" wasn't the proper response.
Pretty sure I just got the ok to have a one night stand in Maui...from mom. I'd say that's a win in my book.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
I ate at the cafeteria for the first time yesterday and today I think I had an hour long fart.
Randomize
