Yea and his cousin visited from central and i fucked her i was texting him at work teasin him about it but sent it to his mom by accident
she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
O no, u 2 are dating again?
No. I just masturbate furiously to his picture
I asked him if he wanted to go to my place, he said i could go but he was gonna stay
you tried to pee on a squirrel and everyone saw. you've got some serious untagging to do
She threw all the patio furniture in the pool saying she was building a castle.
I'm pretty sure that I'm earning a horrible reputation with your friends, but I'm having a fucking great time in the process.
Her legal name is Candy. Her being a whore is implied.
I want to let you in on my two latest life goals. Have a photograph of me squirting whipped cream into a midget's mouth, and have sex on a roof.
So I feel like I should have had a going away party for your dick. Complete with balloons and cake. Yeahh that's right. I'm gonna miss it.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
you are like the bill nye of illicit activities
So apparently I initiate sex in my sleep
New holiday tradition. Eat all the Xanax in the am, then wake up later after festivities and eat all the leftovers
As he put it in he shouted "geronimo!"
Wow... So was the sex good?
Yeah but it doesn't matter. My vagina is not a pool.
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