I assumed she put out when I heard her friend call her "dickbutt"
she burped and cried multiple times. it was like i was getting head from a baby.
I wish the health center treadmills counted beers burned not calories
Is King's over? Or do I still have to say 'On Matt's cock' at the end of every sentence on matt's cock?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Jenna and Ryan are ranting and raving about child custody. MY VASECTOMY SMILES.
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
I'm just sad for you. It sucks that the 17 douchebag asshole guys you're fucking can't morph into one nice, normal, non-alcoholic guy that has a drivers license and no criminal history.
Hey. Me and my buddy are drunk. you wanna give us tattoos of the hawaiian punch guy we shall pay very well. Seriously dude. no bull shit.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Listen, I booty called my boss last night from the company phone. I may need to brush up my resume.
i wish i could say that was the first 40 year old woman from the circus I nailed
The longer the dick, the closer to Jesus when you’re on top.
You were so drunk, you kept telling everyone you had a platinum vagina.
Last night was fun but it wasn't right. I will say that our lives intersected for a brief and intense moment and we will just leave it there.
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