the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
she added me on facebook and her celebrity doppelganger is rosie odonnel. FUCK
my mom just informed me that im way nicer when im high and offered to supply my weed until our house guests leave.
does that include her cleaning your bowl?
This is a pre-sorry for hitting on and then sleeping with you're ex
Where the royal fuck are you??
The depths of vodka hell.
She is larger then a hippo. You could cut her open in the middle of a blizzard and crawl in like Luke skywalker. Throw a couch and a tv in there and you're set
I have officially tracked lube all over our house on the bottom of my socks without knowing it. Don't slip when you come in
Also my vagina isn't a crater of death where nothing comes out
Code 10 We gotta leave. Now. I took a dump in the upstairs toilet and its clogged and overflowing, and believe me I don't want to have to explain myself to this frat on parents weekend.
Yes, let me tell you about the time I was forcibly locked in a bathroom when my ex-girlfriend was having a bad shroom trip.
I just watched my ex butt chug a quart of eggnog. Why did I dump her again?
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
Waking up naked and dehydrated has become a regular occupancy for me.
I just don't understand what you plan on accomplishing there except for losing all vestiges of post-freshman year dignity
Randomize
