Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
what do kids with lesbian moms do for father's day? like do you talk about it? is it awkward? do you get the butchy mom a card?
HE had a tribal tattoo tramp stamp, jasmine.
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
How you know a guy is gay: they say they would want money, not sexual favors, from emma watson
I was so high I couldnt even listen to music i was terrified of the potential knowledge i would gain.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
There were so few words spoken that I'm not sure if it was make-up or break-up sex.
still finding ketchup in my shoes. thanks to graduation that is probably the last time ill ever say that..
Get you some cowboy.
In that sentence you are the cowboy. That is not saying you should get a cowboy for yourself.
I was on all fours trying to empty the bowl we smoked into the sewer when your neighbor came out, but besides that it went smoothly
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
Fuck baseball, getting drunk and playing with kittens is the REAL national pasttime
The brides mom put a 6 year old in charge of me to make sure I don’t get too drunk before the wedding
You will be reminded everyday when you witness my majestic mustache.
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