fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
I'm looking at pot farms on google earth. Google should be proud I found a real purpose for it to serve.
the meat mosque collapsed into the alcohol moat
you blew your rape whistle in his face every time he got near a girl till he left the party...
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
You know, it doesn't really count as a walk of shame if you guys showered together the next morning
Sorry for drunk singing "love hurts" to you at 3 am.
She made me take my shoes off outside her room but she didn't make me wear a condom. I am confused.
Apparently stumbling across interstate bridges is not cause for concern but screaming Wookie noises at cars is. Thanks, cops.
Hey ask him if he likes swappy seconds
Holy. Fuck. This mans mouth is magical. I love married men. I don't have to teach them.
If so I'm coming over there. There's no way I'm having "hello, how are you" conversations with my neighbors on acid
If sleeping with your boss doesnt scream job security i dont know what does.
When I found out he was circumcised I called his mother and thanked her
I think the cats may be lesbians. It could just be a two hour mutual bath but it sure looks like a 69.
Randomize
