I feel like I got hit by a truck made out of Jack Daniels.
I cant believe Lindsay Lohan feels like this every day
I've gone to the bathroom 3 times. And forgot to pee. 3 times. Let's say we call it a night, I need to be found. I see a fish tank by the bar and some stairs.
When she talks to me all I hear are 5 generations of inbreeding speaking.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
I found out what happened to that girls weave last night. It was draped over a bush in my backyard.
Did someone do a keg stand in my bathtub?
I went back to the party but by then they were all sitting on the floor in the dark listening to we are the champions on full blast.
Did you hook up with him before or after he shaved off half of his eyebrow?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just rolled over in bed and felt a bump. Turns out it was a lil nug. Talk about being princess and the weed.
Ive done some fucked up shit, but last night was the first I have Poured milk on anothers mans face in the shower.
it wasn't a total waste of time; I mean how often do you get to play scotch pong?
.....fair enough
dude, last night I won a real sword and a bottle of vodka in a cards against humanity tournament
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
Randomize