guy from last night has fluorescent crocs in his closet. judging by the rest of his clothes he doesn't wear them in an ironic way
alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
It's not just about fucking anymore... We decided we're actually in like now..
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Drinking gin at a party, riding a giant inflatable walrus all around the living room.
Dude, just be careful. Her invitation for BJ is just a trap for her to stick her finger up your ass.
i would have fingered myself to death by now but the dog wont stop staring at me
He was so hammered. He called the cops on the landscapers he thought they were trespassing. 2 were arrested on warrants.
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
Clothes make me feel like a responsible adult and that's just not something I'm ready to handle.
Do it break your family into faction start a civil war
My fuck buddy and I talked about Amelia Bedilia for ten minutes before having sex. I think I'm in love.
My thoughts mid terrible hookup: do people normally read a magazine right about now?
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
