yeah she is the one who tells people i beat girls.. which ironically make me want to punch her in the face
The best feeling....farting and having the bubble hit your balls
I thought this kinda shit only happens to ugly people
you went into starbucks asked for a mocha "on the rocks"
I just used my 7th grade year book to figure out who I hooked up with last night. Being home is magical.
I booty called her while she was in labor.
From now on I forbid you to refer to it as a "bed". From now on you must only use the phrase "sex wagon".
It's always awkward in the office the day after your boss sends you a dick pic.
Why are your underwear on my dining room table?
All I want to do is shower, but there is a keg in there.
WAKE THE EFF UP THE UBER DRIVER IS TRYING TO TAKE ME HOME
I woke up in some kids room and he introduced me to his friends at breakfast as "Monica" so I just went with it.
Now with the essential back story, I can empathize. Sorry about your beer and butthole.
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
I bet your mom's never met a girl who's thrown up at the presidential inauguration before though.
Randomize
