I'm in a room alone pouting because I got the wrong nachos at taco bell.
Jason just peed on the potty all by himself!!
"omg awesome!, you do realize we aren't together anymore"
I am currently in the waffle making stage of highness
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I pulled my bra outta my purse. Covered in honey mustard. I still lack an explanation.
Can I just put my face in your boobs and forget the world?
I'm hoping they send me home from work drunk.
We found her on the doorstep. Just layin down going, "I made it home!! Aren't you proud??!"
I asked her why she was drunkenly masturbating to Iron Man and all she replied was "Robert Downey Jr". As far as excuses go, that seemed pretty legit.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
we need to find a way to be drinking champagne 24/7
We watched playoff games and fucked so we could both see the TV. I've now found true love.
No one wants to start their day off with bloody lemons and a tampon in the toilet. Wtf.
I am in the parking lot of CVS in Auburn. I think a truck full of Plan B and regret just arrived.
If everyone felt the happiness from apple crown royal we would be in a better place
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