Were we dating when my roommates and I had the 'everyone gets laid' part?
Ya
I used to kick so much ass
You stayed up for three hours wasted, feeding my rabbit 2 1/2 boxes of girl scout cookies.
Just saw a picture of your new tub, cant wait to pee in it
She threw her promise ring on the ground, that's when the freak came out.
you handed me the dorito you were about to eat and told me to 'keep him safe' while you went to the bathroom
She said, and I quote "how do you run with something that big between your legs".
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
Waking and baking in my bathtub. In a giant sweater. And no pants. This is going to be the best 420 ever.
Do you know how hard it is to write about pediatric crohn's when we're trying to figure out the keg situation for graduation?
I really just want to eat 20 mcnuggets and slap everyone with the box when I'm done.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
because. if I can't sit outside naked and eat my watermelon every morning then I really don't see the point in moving in with you.
How weird would it be for me to get 1 hour photos printed at CVS of my partially or all nude?
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
what the fuck is wrong with you
Do you want me to go chronologically or alphabetically?
Randomize
