I woke up this morning in your mom's car... any ideas?
arkansas has a gas station called kum and go....story of my life
He spanked me with a plate. I'm not sure where this is going...
The little penguins are speaking with a hispanic accent. I dont know how to feel about it. Geographically speaking, this cant be possibly. This isnt cool.
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
well as your friend its only fair to offer my cock for your services. Cause I care.
Can you give me a hickey quick? Im going to a white trash themed party. Completely serious
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
we broke up because he couldn't handle the fact that i've slept with more girls than he has. also, i've slept with the girl he's seeing now.
Did u know it's unconstitutional to turn down a shot during 4th of July celebrations.. Rest now dear liver
Pedi-lyte stocked
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
BRING THE BAGELS
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
Well, he kept asking me if I was going to murder him once we got upstairs. It sort of killed the mood.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
