If you get a breast reduction, you have to let me see them before hand at least once. It's a rule.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
Can you believe The 5th Element didn't get best fight scene in 1997?! I'm still bitter. 12 years later.
Haha how do you remember that?
HOW COULD I FORGET?!
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
yeah after seeing those pics of her puking into my underwear drawer i remembered again why i didn't want to invite her.
you didn't check your sock drawer yet did you
you probably have like 11 voicemails from us, one is us singing my heart will go on while were fucking
drunk old tina is grateful for 14 yr old tina for placing glow-in-the-dark stickers on my light switch...just avoided so many injuries
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
stalking the twitter feeds of girls who have fucked my current fuck buddy makes me glad we use condoms
i just got hit on on the bus. Yes sir, because its every boys dream to fuck a forty year old with a face tattoo
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Cat needed to get out last night. Walking to the door was too much effort so I encouraged (pushed) him to leave via window.
Isn't your room on the second floor?
He tried to eat me out...through my pants.
She said to call her, so I called her. Her boyfriend answered and traced the fucking call. I could litterally hear him yell because it turns out he lives in 4d
Don't you live in 4c?
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