I guess there's a 50 percent chance that it was her that wet my bed.
I had a dream you and I were having sex. It was pretty romantic.... until you started pulling out toys.
i just woke up and its 10 o'clock and the words "Robbies Fave Restraunt" and written in sharpie above my vage. Help me.
There's a Cowboys game and a Rangers game on at the same time...talk about Sophie's choice
This morning two of his housemate threw confetti over me, started singing and handed me a make shift trophy out of cereal boxes and beer cans that said 'Harry's Virginity' on it. Fucking brilliant!
If your wondering why there is a puddle on the floor is I may have decided to make a kiddie pool in your living room.
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
We'll find out our level of friendship after tonight. You'll be helping me move a body. My body.
I ended up at home with a random bird sculpture and flowers
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
I'm so pissed theres no male strip clubs around where we are staying I looked extensively
Currently standing at the bus stop in just a pillowcase and its fucking snowing
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
