well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
we're almost there. Shes pounding on the car window telling the nurse whos on a smoke break to fuck off.
You just want to fuck a girl in a dinosaur costume, don't you?
This is your typical drubkba Amy test. Shout out to jisus for auto correct
So I ripped my crotchless fishnet body suit when my drunk ass tried to crawl through the crotch to put it on.
She refuses to believe she pulled down her pants and spanked her ass in front of us
As we were passing the joint around, people were dunking Jenga pieces in Vaseline and sticking them to the window. I also smoked weed with a girl that was in an above the influence commercial.
I think that thing where I have 2 boyfriends is happening again
I got drunk by myself and ended up listening to Beethoven in the dark.
Official reason: I couldn't get time off. The real reason: last Xmas nearly ended in alcohol poisoning to prevent me from screaming like a velociraptor
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I gave him the white girl "you spilled my psl look" and walked away
So I fell alseep while I was motorboating that girl last night infront of the entire party.
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