he's going on about how he's going to treat me right and wants to let himself be in love with me and spend a lot of time together. kids these days. like its not about sex anymore. i'm confused.
Fair warning.. porn on your laptop when you turn it on.. seemed like a wonderful idea last night.. until it died
Do they make some cleansing product for your soul? Like mouthwash that makes you not a skank? Or is that what religions for?
Eh, i think it's called sobriety. But its not fun.
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
I've had enough of this chick, she wanted to cuddle after giving me a handjob. I feel like I'm in junior high
the cop then proceeds to point out the "proud parent of a dare graduate" bumper sticker and say well i guess it's time to take that off
We left the bar, went to a sex shop, bought penis shotglasses, went back to the bar and insisted that the bartender used them.
Whoever decided it was a good idea to sell 40's at a bar with life-sized jenga deserves a nobel prize.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
my math prof is telling us what to do in a gun fight. i dont want to live in oakland anymore.
So apparently using the emergency exit of the bar as a bathroom is frowned upon in this establishment...
Can we make sure camping doesn't turn into forest-orgy?
Lol, last year was UNREAL
You kept hiding under tables and grabbing people's legs and shouting SHARK ATTACK.
First week is awesome. Freshman girls prancing around everywhere like newborn baby deer looking for a dick to jump on
If it were up to me his wife would never get his penis again, but I guess they have some sort of arrangement
Yes, an arrangement called marriage
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