I still think their baby is ugly. I also still think it's yours.
They were so slutty we had to play "rarely have I ever."
The cab driver referred to me as his little gumdrop, im sure he won't feel the same when he sees the vomit all over his floor.
He passed out so we kept throwing water on him, he got excited and asked if we were at the wave pool.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
ive realized i need to start an "avoid moving in with my parents after graduation" fund
I saw a stripper quit while on stage to months ago nothing you tell me will amaze me
I wore water proof eyeliner just incase the first picture of me of 2012 is a mugshot
On the oral sex Super Bowl board I drew 7 and 1. If I get lucky, someone will be swallowing during Madonna's half time. I'm sure she'd approve.
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ladies and gentlemen, the only person I know who would keg stand in pearls and a bow.
Is posting a pic on insta of my previously dyed blue pubes socially acceptable?
I expected better sex from someone with the word CHAOS tattooed above his dick. But on the bright side, he was down to watch a documentary on Honey Badgers afterwards so I guess I'll keep him around.
Laziness has hit a new level. I'm out of clean sexy underwear and meeting a boy tonight so I'm having a thong delivered via post mates.
That's so awful of me. Instead of comforting her I masturbated in front of my ex-boyfriend.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
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