I called Tyra Banks a whore to her face. A sure sign I should go home. Instead I went to the gay bar.
i barfeds in our rink
I've come to notice a late period isn't as exciting when you have no reason to worry
So we tried to 69 with him on top. NEVER TRY IT. His balls were in my eyes and it was terrifying.
My scrabble letters just formed failure. Thanks God.
Her pussy was so beautiful. That's what I'LL miss the most. Not the omelets. You're the roommate, obviously our priorities on this situation are vastly different.
You were jumping on the trampoline and screaming that you couldn't feel the fire.
i cant wait to be back in my element of drunk, on a barstool, ive missed home
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I have to estimate how long it takes them to get to the bedroom so that I can sneak out of my room and get snacks. If she's anything like me, they're in bed the second he gets here and I can get snacks now
I never saw such an emotional argument over yellow vs. spicy mustard.
I also woke up in a guys bed in a Reptar shirt yesterday morning staring at a movie theater sized poster of the not as popular Air Bud franchise movie Super Buddies.
Im selling my dirty underwear to pay for that cruise. NO JUDGEMENT . I love you lol ❤❤ also dont tell anyone
roommates are droppin acid, i really should stop them from staring directly at the light bulb, but their giggles are so enchanting.
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