I wish life was like dora the explorer where dancing pigs appear out of nowhere to solve your problems for you
last night was fun... but i spent all morning tring to get the candle wax out of my chest hair. We did use candles last night?
My dealer, who also happens to be a male stripper, just invited me to watch him perform tonight. Boundaries buddy, boundaries.
I've decided, even as much fun as it sounds, I don't care for his sodomy box.
that trick or treat candy bucket that we used to collect beer money last night was very helpful when I vomited in it this morning
I'm babysitting my fucking roommate he took out the screen and is trying to throw dishware in our fucking pool after he repelled off our balcony
I made him an O's fan. One pic of my tits coming out of a Baltimore shirt and it was done.
Koalas always seemed like really high little puppy kittens to me.
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
I ended up in a bathroom giving my hymen a pep talk
like every night i go out someone always suggests nipple hugs so that's why I always end up topless
I'm far too poor to be letting my hookups wear my shirts home. I'm down to about a total of 8 shirts and have no intention of buying more
One more sleep until playoffs, Canucks are back this year, you bet your ass I'm going to uphold the tradition of being the 90 lb girl that fights every hairy ass Bruins fan at BWW.
I have jury duty tomorrow
I almost deep fried my finger today and yet I think you are worse off than I am.
OH DEAR GOD IT GOT IN MY MOUTH AGAIN HELP
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