Just fell off a train. Bad.
And then falling down drunk the next morning, concussing yourself and splitting your head open?
That was pretty sad, but you more than made up for it by using "concussing" in a sentence
I think I found an E pill under the couch.. Or really bad tasting candy. Check back in 30min this could get exciting
We eventually had to ration the melon vodka. 10 pushups per shot. THATS why my arms hurt
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
Ripped as fuck driving to get a portrait of my cat tattooed on my arm
Bring one of those heart stabber things in case you go into shock. I'll jab you.
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
WHY IS THE HAIRSPRAY SOUNDTRACK PLAYING IN THE LIQUOR STORE
I can see your house from here
Get off of his fucking roof
His dick isn't even good enough to be this much of an asshole
Its weird to introduce me to his wife and kids on the first date, right?
I'm eating chicken wings naked and hungover at 10am... Happy bday to me
that is very illegal...i love you.
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