This girl looks like a mixture of kathy griffin and bill walton. i havent decided if that is a good thing.
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
But when he came on my stomach I noticed how tan I was!
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
The AC broke so he ended up sleeping in the front yard and left his one night stand on the couch.
Hey remember that night when you sang Fergie to me? I think that's the exact moment in time when the thought "I could be faithful to this man" came into serious consideration.
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
drunk caitlyn doesn't know how to work gmail. so know an email has been sent to the entire campus with a picture of me naked eating a bagel attached.
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
When you and that girl went into the bedroom, you yelled "FOR NARNIA!"
Nah. After about 5 shots he decided he needed to clean the gutters. We're headed to the hospital now so meet us there.
Yes. He better. Or I will shave a penis into his beard while he sleeps.
I'm bringing home frosties. I need to talk about butt stuff.
Oh no...did you put star fish over your nipples again?
Randomize
