i think i have herpe
just one?
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
If we don't get kicked out of this hotel tonight for fucking too loud we're breaking up
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
...that's why he's not doing anything with his life except breeding geckos
My dick is covered in produce stickers. I suspect you
just had to sit in the middle of an aisle in stop and shop because we're too hungover and needed to take a break.
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
hes supposed to be my fuck buddy. im not supposed to see him on his knees praying by my bed when i walk into my room.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We need to talk about the sailor moon porn. Do what you want in your room, but I don't want to come home to you cranking it on the couch to that.
Cutting up lines with the edge of my birth control packet. Just reminding you this is the person you've CHOSEN to be monogamous with.
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
I've lost every trace of self esteem. Even sneaking a BJ in the coffee room has lost it's luster.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
Not to make this awkward, but if we ever have sex (perhaps drunkenly), all i'm gonna be able to think about is how sexy our kids would be.
Randomize