Ikea night.
?
Insert tab A into swedish slot B
Also do the "tongue the pee-hole" thing.
every time i get drunk at her place i end up leaving with nothing but an empty box of toaster strudels..
You tried to convince her that if she gave you head she'd hear the ocean.....
fuck that im pissed. when I come back im ripping forskin off.
My uncles bleeding, my brother has a black eye and my moms topless in the pool... How was your family cookout?
I can't believe all the places I got into shoeless last night. Apparently no one will say no to a girl covered in paint with a ripped shirt
Jordan and I are drunk and barred out at the liquor store sitting in the awesome $70 Corona bench bargaining with the owner for a lower price, all while passing the Belvedere bottle between the two of us. Real life. College has down this.
I pulled my bra out of my dress and handed it to my mom..at cocktail hour during the wedding.
also, the amount of semen in my carpet right now is unforgivable...
I gave a very stressed out cashier a mini bottle from my purse the day after Christmas. It's what Jesus would have done.
You're a good person. Sharing is caring.
strip teases shouldnt end with an expensive car covered in salsa and mayonnaise yet here we are
It's not safe here. I had urgent and violent diarrhea last night, and I got blackout drunk. Please don't come over.
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
I’m done with him. I’m going to the beach to catch a fresh dick
Randomize
