no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
so I just used the H1N1 mask my mom gave me for college to hold in a bong hit longer... god I love orientation week
i didn't know falling asleep in the tbell line could get you a dui. Isn't everyone there stoned or drunk?
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
I woke up with a fake mustache stuck to my chest and I can't even hold down water.
I just pictured my inhibition personified as little pink piggies with wings flying off into the great wide nowhere hahaha
I literally just smashed open my grade school piggy bank for beer money. Goodbye childhood. Hellllllo coin night.
I couldn't break up with him while I was wearing a Hakuna Matata shirt.
Well I've consulted some psychics but they keep saying all they hear in my head is screaming and all they see in my future is pool noodles and cheese dip?
And also ice skating can blow me. Goodnight, love you!
he answered his phone during sex and left to go help that drama queen with her latest bullshit. I'm drinking all his vodka. it's asshole tax
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
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