Don't forget I'm 20 now
I liked you more when you were 19
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
I just found $40 in the jeans I wore last night. PS I also found the jeans I wore last night.
white trash bash was a total success...cops shut it down twice and her hair stayed in rollers all night..she never broke character
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Apparently she held up my head the entire 40 minutes, convincing the cab driver that I was okay
She was mid-sentence and then BOOM the hammock broke off the tree. I about pissed myself. Hot Sprite and Vodka make the world go round.
Please stop letting me make out with hot lesbians.
Definitely not. I may be your best friend, but first and foremost I am a guy. Please continue.
If you can't drink with the big boys, give up your beer and go back to the playpen
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
To be clear you just said "I'll give you a baby" as a sext?
God help them if any millennials are in the vicinity. Rent is too high and we no longer fear death
Lost and found: pink cotton underwear next to my bed and soaking wet Reebok socks or boxers in a plastic bag...in my fridge🤔
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
Randomize