Were not really friends so much as I suck his dick a lot
I have minimal recognition and a lot of burns on my tongue and my vagina hurts.
literally. a puddle of blood. on the floor. still searching for the source
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
Year anniversary in a month. Think I'll just give him a COME ON MY FACE FREE card. I'm both broke and shameless.
I'm so high I feel like I'm pedaling a bicycle but I'm laying on the couch. My body might be vibrating. I made soup.
I think he offered to cook me dinner or cook me for dinner. Not really sure. Just smiled and nodded.
I'm so confused. I feel like I just intentionally took roofies to see where I'd end up.
When a girl says " I never would have come over if I knew I was getting kicked out at 7am." the correct response isn't "but think of how responsible you're being."
I think there's a website warning girls about me based on the 4 who approached me separately tonight and called me evil. Fuckyoudave.com?
I'm petty sure you said "hold on let me make my nipples hard, they look better"
You know how I said I'd never worry about my roommate? Well I just walked in on her masturbating to Star Trek.
Did she boldly cum where no one has cum before?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
There was a comma in between her and dick. I was calling you a dick. Jesus.
He pulled out a red and green condom and then started humming "Here Comes Santa Claus." Happy holidays indeed.
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