That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
woke up with ski boots on and a kayak in my room... birthday successful? i'd say so
Fuck him tonight for the both of us. We're still tag-teaming in spirit.
The problem with having your drunkeness documented at a wedding is not only does it show up all over facebook, but all over professional photography websites.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
The birthday girl is bringing her own barf bucket, it is going to be a good weekend.
My password hint says "not sunset, also facebook." i need to stop doing computer things while high. I will never figure this clue out.
THE BIG GAY MAD HATTER IS HERE AND HE HAS DRUGS IN HIS PANTS FOR YOU. COME DOWNSTAIRS BITCHEZZZZ
Let's just say I've never been so continually aware of my nipples before.
I'm thinking about slathering myself with peanut butter and going to the dog park. What's the worst that could happen?
He made me choke him and call him Papi..so all in all a good night.
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
he yelled at me like a drill sergeant while I quickly tried to take off my pants
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
A reply to my tweet is getting more likes than mine, the disrespect is real
Randomize
