i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
DUDE DUDE I JUST GOT TH E BEST IDEA FOR A CHILDRENS BOOK "If You Give A Girl A Blow Job"
I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
my fake id says im a 34 yr old russian lady ... how is this working
I just put up a picture on my dorm room wall of that ginger you hooked up with to remind myself that everyone makes mistakes
You walked in on me taking a shit and told me to hit the bong
my self respect just called, its having a good time without me
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
I think he was trying to tie my clitoris in a knot with his tongue. So awful.
spending today hungover and untagging myself from all the pictures of me kissing girls so grandma doesnt have a heart attack. how was your new years?
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
The Uber driver took us to a Waffle House. We didn't even say anything when we got in. MAGIC.
Just keep your throat open and beer will always find its way in.
Why let a Christmas Eve hangover ruin a perfectly good Christmas Day acid trip?
Mike's letting gay guys do body shots off him again.
My boyfriend, ladies and gentlemen.
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