Forget about socially acceptable. Make me happy instead
morning outfit: hottub soaked skirt. no underwear. someone's bandanna worn as a shirt. took me an hour to walk home. this isn't fun anymore.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
i make up for being a shitty girlfriend by being amazing in bed.
Condom broke. Took her to CVS for plan B and parked in expectant mothers spot. I laughed.. she cried
Do they take checks?
Did you really just ask me if you could write a check for a DRUG DEAL?
I came home drunk to my night light on and a Hershey's bar on my bed. Mom knows me too well.
I think they can follow the trail of blood to my house if they have a problem with me taking a dip in their hot tub last night b4 stepping on a broken bottle
He was in Alberta for less than a week and is already banned from 6 bars. I fear for his general well-being over there.
Recently successful and happy relationships are at an all time high now that you are no longer fucking so many peoples girlfriends. You alone have changed the mating patterns in the lower half of our county.
You need to stop relating my life to your schoolwork. But tell my girlfriend that she'd be proud.
I feel like I got hit by a truck. Or a baby dinosaur. One of them ran over my body and then stuck me in a blender of fire and storm clouds
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
It was only a blow job in his car. It's the same as giving a friend a back rub.
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