i need a wealthy benefactor or a cocktail job. or to start stripping. or kill myself. whatever.
remember the good old days of high school when a half gal would last for more than a nite
my entire walk over here no one looked in my eyes. Period Boobs are BAACKKK.
Well apparently "don't come inside of me" wasn't one of the English phrases he understood! On the bright side... At least he will get his green card for having an american kid!
We need to buy some popsicles so we can remind ourselves we're good at this.
What is an appropriate "thanks for saving my life" gift? I don't have any experience with this.
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Night one million where I have madri gra beads around my neck and no justifiable reason for where they came from
Let's get a hotel room this time. I really don't want to sleep in a Dennys parking lot again.
I'm six Popsicles away from an existential breakdown.
Her tramp stamp said call me maybe. You should have run for the nearest decontamination shower immediately.
I will most likely miss you the least and fondly remember you as Mr. "I need a minute" but really need 24 hours and 4 extra inches.
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
you are the only girl i know that would bring a plate of cookies to a hook up. but they were awesome. thanks. next time cupcakes?
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