i got pulled over in my 'cops love me' tshirt. he didn't think it was funny when i pointed it out.
my shit smells like andre
no, i'm not a lesbian.. i just really want to fuck you while drinking, thats normal in a friendship.
Sarah Palin is going to have a show on the discovery channel...Can I get a moment of silence for knowledge?
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I would like to apologize for making you the target of my "I wish head hair grew as fast as Pubes speech" the other night
WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WRONG DAY TO COME TO CLASS STONED!! WE'RE WATCHING BIRTHING VIDEOS!!!!
we were the definition of too high: argued for 10 minutes about who was gonna get the condom (it was 2 feet away on the night stand) and past out watching adventure time.
My underwear said "hard to get" on the butt. He laughed when he took them off.
you gave a quesadilla a blow job with sour cream at Denny's.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
The last thing I remember is talking to the firefighter next to me and he was giving me fruit.
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
Its 7am I'm awake still drunk, there is food, random clothing and road cone in my room. I can't decide if this is a failure or a success???
did anyone ever come to your door asking about the blood on the floor?
Randomize
