i just renamed my vag "the sorting hat"
I just fucked 3 marines at the same time...how did you celebrate veterans day?
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I just rolled a joint with a page from On The Road by Kerouac. I have never felt like more of a hipster.
I think I'm going to inject the gummy vitamins with vodka
I'm glad you're using your medical degree for some good for once
I think I'm on the verge of a really slutty period in my life
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Woke up with his dick on the side of my face, it's like he passed out mid-mushroom stamp.
Even completely stoned shes amazing on the piano. There are like 7 people sitting on the ground listening to her like she's the messiah.
Boys DO look like their dicks. Its like dogs.
don't get you morals all over my torrid fantasties
Ever since the Christmas fiasco of '08, I can no longer watch Rudolf the Red nosed reindeer without getting a hard on
Btw. I have a sinus infection from doing cocaine in a portapotty at a Duran Duran concert. So, gimme a couple of days before y'all start the party.
So you're willing to shred any respect that you had for your body on some random chick who's only looking for sex? That's the worst thing I've ever heard.
I mean, it won't be 100% meaningless, I know her middle name.
I’m not lawful evil! I do evil things because I want to, not because of the law
Randomize
