I am coming home for anal
* a nap*
Charles is a playa. And I don't mean the spanish word for beach.
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I hit 10,000 texts this month.. I think my grandkids have carpal tunnel.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
I may have made out with a tranny last night, which, if I don't get fired for everything else that happened, really makes last night epic.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Come over. I've made 2 dinners and so many cocktails. I'm a 50's housewife with no family.
Is it bad that I have more guilt over drunk eating Doritos than hooking up with my ex's best friend last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Painting strippers breast and vaginas to look like easter eggs. What r u doing tonight.
I either forgot underwear this morning or lost them at work and I seriously don't know which.
My liver is preforming stress tests.
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
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