these two guys are about to go shot for shot with syrup
now he is talking to a potato
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
i'd fuck the guy who invented dead baby jokes.
In hindsight maybe we should have moved his homework instead of playing quarters on top of it.
I don't go on dates. I watch tv and play with dicks. dinner is a situation.
let's just skip the pleasantries and go back to my place for pizza and casual sex
She's like a connoisseur of porn. Her collection has things in it I never even knew existed. She even has an Italian batman porno. Where has she been all my life?
I can't. I think his penis is about to take out a restraining order against me.
No, your dick is problems. Anyone you fuck haunts us for the rest of the semester. If you need to get laid, I'll personally drive you out of state.
Shit. I'm suppose to call the bank but I'm too high to talk numbers.
passed out in the hallway last night, now I'm sitting down in the shower, eating lukewarm canned soup out of Tupperware, listening to Carly rae jepsen.. I had a rough night.
yeah im watching him make his speech now. cant take him seriously tho. hes talking about funding for education and all i can think about is how ive seen what he looks like wearing womens underwear...
Just so you know.. If you ever cheat on me, i will cut your dick and fingers off and post them as my cover photo on Facebook. Love you.
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
Remember that Czech tennis player I brought home from beer pong and banged on your couch last year? He just booty calle me. From the Czech Republic.
Randomize
