Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
Is there some kind of disinfectant spray people use? Why would anyone want to eat ass??
I just paid $5 for a shot of el toro and the bartender wasn't even hot. Rock bottom.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
I definitely recall eating shredded cheese out of the bag while you were wearing that apron.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
I seriously think I may just have to live here. In this bed. Naked.
She had her pubic hair down there shaved into the superman s............. Best one night stand ever.
I have never thoroughly inspected the geometry of my nipples until now. How do I fix this?
Omg I literally just wanna sleep with you right now. Like actual sleep. Not sex. Well maybe. But sleep first
She was wearing American flag underwear. How could I NOT fuck her?
You're a true patriot.
I'm fucking my way through California and it's kind of fun.
These snow days are takeing a toll on my liver
Randomize
