he came faster then a bring it on movie goes to dvd
pretty sure I just motor boated my professor at the drag show
Already tried, she's too smart for that. I need a Primos "Do your wife in the butt" lure/call to trick her into wanting it
he was already passed out before we got there, so i already knew i was going to like him
So at what point while he was throwing up on the girl next to him did you think "yeah, im going to hit that"
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
I caught him trying to shit in her bed. I asked him why he was doing it and he said "because it's wrong."
The jerky fairy visited my fridge. It's glorious.
I'm riding shot gun after Shawn took a dump in a happy meal box because we were making record time.
Well, I watched a girl proposition a shit ton of people, try to take a cocktail waitresses job and then proceed to walk into a wall. Damn, I'm a little jealous.
My concierge just asked me to his place for dinner while I was signing for a delivery. The delivery was a box of vibrators. Let's discuss.
i just honestly didn't believe you when you said your brother was a fucking clown. ho shit you weren't kidding.
my birth father cheated on his wife with my birth mother. it's literally in my blood to be a home wrecker.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
