Slept with that guy from the bar last night. Only got 2 1/2 hours of sleep. Eyes were so bloodshot this morning that the principal sent me home b/c she thought I had pink eye. God I love teaching elementary school...
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
He DELETED brick breaker off his blackberry why even bother trying to find something in common?
bet u 5 dollars u can't guess were i woke up this morning
oh god.. jail?
better, on the catwalk of the auditorium
Yea. I think between making the bride puke, feeling up the maid of honor, and sleeping with a bridesmaid. I did my part.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
Omg. I felt like a crazed animal last night. My lesbian instincts burned a hole in my panties.
please tell me you're in jail and for some reason they have wifi
U know when u get really drunk and u don't think anyone can see what your doing? If I'm that drunk the possibilities are endless
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
My dick has a subreddit
i think the realest test of our friendship is how hot your sister looks right now
Apparently, im the only one in the world who thinks Larry King is hot.
Found out that I went to the same elementary school as the guy I'm hooking up with. Kosher or no
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