bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
new girl just came onto the hall stumbling drunk with no shoes on and the guy who brought her doesn't have them either
whoever brushed my teeth and whitened them while i was passed out, thanks.
um so slept at robs. he woke up, looked at me, and said ' oh my psychiatrists are gonna have a field day with this one' I think that's when you know you can't hang out with someone anymore
to improve your porn experience, just imagine a slow speaking older English man narrating it all like a Nature documentary
That's awesome and prob the first time you had an idea of what to do. I'm super proud of you Chelz
Its cos im stoned ! My high self is maturing
I got another blow job proposal last night. Skills.
No! Last time I got hit with a beer bottle
Haha, Tuesday man
I wish we could all take a bath together. Not in a lesbian way. But in a relaxing drunk in the tub sort of way.
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Why is everyone judging me for telling the cat a bedtime story?
I'm not complaining, but why is it that every time I hang out with you I come home with random injuries and random girls?
I was at a hookups house and peed in his sink so I wouldn't wake up his mom... drunk me is on a different level
Randomize
