just a heads up, there may or may not be a mailbox full of the leftover beer on the table in your basement.
i mean, some people chug beer and some people chug hard liquor. some people have good ideas and some people have bad ideas. it's all about perspective.
yes he does come on. what guy wouldnt want his penis named after a dragon
I got pushed into some bald man in the pit and spent the next few minutes with my face against his head. Man I love ecstasy.
HE JUST ALLUDED TO FUCKING MY FRESH LOAF OF BREAD
Before consuming her Waffle House she did a few deep breaths and cleared the table to "prepare herself for this"
Living alone for four weeks has given me unrealistic expectations of pantslessness.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
Omg she's a human wrecking ball. I love it.
I am to reach this level of casual destruction.
I'm tired, but I'm gonna go with "I watched the debate last night and part of my soul died"
how drunk are you?
Several
I'll seduce him with my charm, after all, I am a graceful swan.
More like a demented cow.
Please tell me why I’m standing naked in the kitchen drinking pickle juice out of the jar & there is a container of potatoe salad with no lid & a spoon in it on the floor 🤦♀️
I don't want them thinking I'm like, "Mm, yeah, kitchenware in my ass please."
My Dachshund waddled into the room carrying a rolled-up pad in her mouth with period blood. This day is clearly off to a good start.
Randomize
