just got a rotting pancake and bacon in the mail from your address....
There was a community pot of Ramen, and if you were in the pool you were either fully clothes or ass naked.
This is going to be another afternoon spent getting drunk in the shower, isn't it?
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
Went to 3 separate liquor stores today and I just made a huge tray of jello shots. This will be the Thanksgiving that puts all the others to shame.
I want to lick his teeth again. Is that a creepy thing to say?
Its not that hard, just find a girl reading 50 shades of grey and point her my way
not totally sure where im at but i think i've definitely woken up on this couch before. bong on the coffee table looks familiar. should be able to find my way home
My high school reunion is Thursday so I need to find an outfit that says "Haha, you got fat and I got tits. Suck it, bitches."
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
I almost got on a bus to Langley Air Force Base. 99% sure that's not where I wanna be.
You gotta own your makeout pics Matt. They're like badges of honor
We will let tequila do the talkin this weekend
It's going to turn into you and me throwing down in a devastating lip-synch battle while everyone else stands around awkwardly.
I'm sorry I crashed your motorcycle and watched you get robbed from a rooftop. Will you please come back or at least drop off my shoes?
Randomize
