i don't like sucking hair
I am now the proud owner of a 10-12 year old's Optimus Prime costume from Walmart. Tomorrow is going to be a good day.
i lose more brain cells when ever she opens her mouth then i would doing meth for 8 years of my life.
you literally pushed me forward in the seat so you could puke behind my back without the cabbie noticing..
We didn't talk. I watched you drop an egg on the floor. And watched you praise your haunted broom.
there's a strong possibility i came on your eyeliner last night bathroom sex was unplanned and rather messy sorry
where are you?
talk to ya later, gotta sled down these stairs real quick
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
Ok so last thing I remember was hugging a cop while vomiting
I feel like a drive thru vagina
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
Would you paint my ceiling for oral sex?
If there's a nuclear war you can come over. I'll feed you soup and you can rig up car batteries to power the coffee pot and toaster. We can grow tomatoes and chickens.
please come back. it's turned into strip rock paper scissors
she told me id be a great addition to their lesbian community and shes giving me sex eyes from across the room. come get me NOW
Randomize
