508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I feel odd... a had sex with a chick and she keept her socks on...
Things got a little weird when he fired up his homemade flamethrower in the living room.
Shame should no longer be a word in your vocabulary.
My fuck buddy took time out of his date with his girlfriend to text me happy Valentines Day.
I just sniffled when I woke up and got a bump of coke. I have never felt so good hung over.
Also, ran into my neighbor across the street. He told me about scheduling his vasectomy. We are officially way beyond the acceptable point for asking his name again.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
i was the only bi girl at the frat party. i felt like the last cresent roll at thanksgiving
all we have is white fucking wine this is a travesty it's christmas not a fucking funeral
Tis the season to play Pocahontas! (AKA: Eat a bunch of acid and run around the yard barefoot, the first person to see the colors of the wind, wins!)
The bad thing is that I bled through my bandages last night and keep finding blood around the house. It's almost like a scavenger hunt for solber me. I get to find out where drunk me went.
he invited me over. we listened to jazz, smoked weed, then cerebrally fucked each other over a three hour game of chess
It went from a "chill game of beer pong" to "absinthe body shots and a tits parade" in literally two minutes.
Told you inviting her was a good idea.
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