the next pure michigan commercial i see, i am going to pee in a fucking lake
soo I had sex last night and he wore a condom, pulled out sans condom. we looked everywhere and couldnt find it, even in my vag. so Im in the library at school and I googled it and it gave me "gentle digging" techniques, and sure enough, found it. ew. I'll be purchasing Plan B after class.
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
I stayed up for an hour trying to make my room stop spinning and then I realized it was bc my fan was on
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
He's been dancing to the same Rob Thomas album in his room for almost 8 hours now. Please never, ever bring extacy over here again.
I puked in the coffee maker. I wouldn't make coffee tomorrow morning if I were you
Just had to pull out another loan to pay for that public drunkenness citation. I am so ready to graduate.
Stole a wheelchair from the hospital and rolled down the street smoking and drinking this is my weekend
no one was sober enough to set up jenga so we just threw the pieces at the last person to drink
I would like to apologize once again for rubbing your thigh with my hands and face for a very long time last night.
I woke up last night a kitchen floor with my shirt off and I love America written on my leg in eye liner
it's not like I want to die, I just want life to stop for a little bit. how does that work?
I swear to god if you eat that last piece of pie while I'm gone I will never speak to you again. I'm so serious.
I can't decide if this outfit makes me look like a pirate. I also can't decide if I care if it does.
Randomize
