The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
Googled "can you put dry ice in your drink?" I'm safee
she was like the girl next door.. if you lived next door to a whorehouse
Don't freak out about the couches in the driveway. We tried to unpack the uhaul drunk.
She kept looking at me and saying "you are the scary high".
Look, the fact that I didn't kick him out and rip your clothes off speaks very highly of me.
You pissed off the back deck while listening to the national anthem from your phone screaming America Fuck Yea to my neighbors
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
Do you think kicking my coke habit is a good personal goal to put down on the evaluation form?
Your loyalty to the Redskins reminds me how no matter how much I disappoint you, you will still always be rooting for me.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I just googled "creative ways to tell someone you'll give them a blow job". I'm losing my touch.
I decided taking Molly and seeing Birdman seemed like a wise life choice.
Stay away a while longer.
Still not sure if they're cops or strippers.
Randomize
