i'm laying naked in your bed you should probably come home
move.
hey as creepy as this sounds i still have your eyelashes on my desk
Let's review the facts-we're bored, we have a ton of beer, and we live 5 minutes from the zoo. This equation is easily solvable
Part of my whole not being a slut anymore involves not giving other peoples boyfriends blowjobs
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Then he wanted a handjob in the car. While my cousin was driving. To krispy kreme. And there was someone else in the backseat.
Jesus...So southern.
You need to fuck him. The man has his own Wikipedia.
Guess who just rode home in a cop car?! Your Fav flamingo
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
I don't think the TSA would be too happy. Who knows if three ounces of lube will be enough for us?
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I'm sun burnt so instead of getting drunk and trying to sleep with you, how about we get naked and you scratch my body and rub lotion on me while I rub one out?
Leave it to me and my dad to puke on the same guy at the same bar 25 years apart
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
we will now reference it as "the infamous double dick night"
he just kept biting everyone and singing hilary duff songs. i can't even bring him to a gas station.
Convinced if I was being murdered in my house no one would come and save me. If no one heard my 10000000 orgasms last night, there is no hope.
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