i'm making a list of conversation topics in my blackberry so the ride won't be so awkward
This guy just walked into class and first thing he did was grab the garbage can, walk to his desk and say "just in case"
His hands were made for my vagina.
Drunk walkin through police station. America
It's like I'm snorkeling in an ocean of tequila.
I'be color coordinated the clothes in my closet and my underwear drawer. I'm like an advertisement for house arrest. Help.
If I drank a glass of water for every drink I had I'd die of water intoxication like some tweaked out looser at a rave
Dude I'm riding a fucking tortoise this is awesome you should come with me more often
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
You shut your whore mouth, we don't talk about Drunk Nutella night.
Note to self: don't try to shave your legs when sex-sore. You CANT reach, stop trying.
You tried to stop drinking but then she started feeding you tequila with a spoon. You were like an adorable baby bird.
She acted like falling "up" the stairs was a fucking physics phenomenon. I call that Tuesday nights.
she just kept pointing at the cows and calling them field penguins
Your Saturday night was spent at the opera, mine was spent exchanging naked pics with a hot middle aged man that is so ripped that he looks like he's photoshopped. This is why we're blood sisters. We balance each other out.
I hate you so hard.
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