friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
we were naked in his bed and he told me all about what a "baller" alexander the great was.
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
this is never going to happen for me, I think he thinks I'm crazy
well you did scream "PLEASE! I'LL S YOUR D IN FRONT OF EVERYONE"
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
just a question.. totally understand if you dont know what im talking about.. but.. do you have my funnel? i think i tucked it in to your bed last night.
oh awks just saw the head of medical staff who I punched the bottle of wine at
seeing two hook-ups in tagged in the same picture will send chills down anyone's spine.
i woke up completely naked except for a bottle of beer saran wrapped in between my boobs
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
As we have told you before, the first rule of hook-up bingo is we don't talk about hook-up bingo
$150 and 3 orgasms. Dogsitting is awesome.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
I got drunk and bought a house last night. Also, I threw up on Mike's lawn. I'm pretty excited about one of those two things.
Randomize
