Laziness has reached now heights if you too unmotivated to buy pot
Please explain to me what this has to do with my fantasy to fuck larry king?
It was the single greastest thing to happen to my dick ever
that girl is introducing herself into your group of friends one dick at a time.
I was arrested last night for attempting to flee and elude. I wasn't really trying to run from the police. I was drunk and lost in the woods. I thought it was pretty obvious when I was waving at them from my puddle of puke that I wasn't really hiding.
I had a face to face conversation with her vagina, asking it not to make me look bad.
Not yoga, whiskey. Totally mis-typed whiskey.
IF I CANT STRIP TO SANTA BABY THEN WHY EVEN HAVE CHRISTMAS.
Rome wasn't built in a day - my bedroom skills weren't obtained in some boring monogamous relationship. Same thing. Right?
bullshit you weren't drunk, you pointed at me and said my cigarette was empty
Nothing says "single girl" quite like Pinot Grigio and canned ravioli at 11:30 pm....
I know we agreed to cock block each other from now on buttt I WANT this one. I have felt his penis, it is godly, and I am going to have it inside of me, so shut the fuck up and leave.
We still getting married? Or were you day drinking
What is ur current declared sexuality for my bingo board
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
