ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
Dude, I was completely sober last night, didn't puke on my shoes, went home with an incredibly beautiful girl, wore a condom, and didn't wake up in a puddle of urine this morning.
hah, sarcasm, classic
Sitting next to a retarded hot married man on the plane, I got 6.5 hrs to homewreck this shit.
And I was somehow convinced to wash the glassware at the bar topless.
...and the foreplay consisted of me threatening to cut off his hand if he didn't remove it from my back.
my 3 favorite things in life are tequila, dicks, and making sandwiches. that DOES NOT make me a bad person.
Funny. I made out with his brother for the first time in a bathroom too.
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
The least you could do before I go into your room is throw away the condom wrapper from the other girl I know you're banging.
he got mad becuase i made more noise when he gave me a back massage then i do when we actually have sex
finding an unopened condom on the ground can really change your outlook on the night
That's why you bone lesbian cage fighters and 45 year olds. To make life less boring.
I wouldn't be too worried. He's been known to chase a chubby before.
THAT IS NOT HOW YOU TALK TO YOUR SISTER
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
I just threw up a strange neon green substance. Did I eat a glow stick last night?
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