Getting fucked up met up rando with a girl I confesswed my love for last night. weird, going with it
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
holy crap !! There is a MIDGET FAMILY in one of my rooms today !
How much trouble would you get into if you were to stomp down the hallway while loudly saying 'Fe Fi Fo Fum...'
i just had a pap smear and two shots. lets hit the beach.
Believe it or not, Travis and I simultaneously breaking beer bottles over eachothers heads was not a good idea.
It's not a good night until someone eats a bagel covered in face mask thinking it's cream cheese
He was crying because he hiccuped every time he kissed me. We then crawled to the kitchen because neither of us could stand, and I spoon-fed him peanut butter "to cure his ailment."
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
did you not get the photos of the finger bruises on my ass?
I was drunk while I accepted my job offer. Here's to growing up.
I remember caressing his hands asking him if he moisturized, then i proceeded to put his hands on my face
Wanna have a sleepover and take me to court in the morning?
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
So my ex vomited in front of my door and passed out there
Went to bed still wearing my bralette. When I was changing this morning, a Tootsie Roll fell out. I'm definitely living my best life.
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