Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Just made a pepperoni sandwich with cheese, mayo, and pickles. Poverty is like pot, without the happy feeling.
The night ended with a lot of tears and everyone singing along to Willenium
I have only been in this city 3 nights and there are already 4 bars I can never go back to again.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
I was drunk for 3 days straight...well wasted for 3 days with periods of "just drunk" inbetween
Not good... He ate my chips. Thats not a sex analogy for anything. My actual potato chips... gone. I lost on both ends.
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
Glow Paint looked great for the Black Light Party last night, Tonight having a glow in the dark Pizza on my arm, not so much.
I think Jabba the Hut is dying in the stall next to me.
Explain why there's a meatball in my bong
Drunk assassins creed leads to explaining to my father that "it was only a steak knife in the arm"
MESSY REBOUND SEX HERE I COME! Time to start stretching to fit in my back seat again ...
I woke up with a giant paw print on the side of my face, my jaw hurts, and I have no idea how any of this happened.
We all love a big dick, but you’re going to develop a reputation if you keep asking every guy at the bar ‘how big your dick’
That’s all I’m saying
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